Service Sets You Free
As I lay in my bed
Beautiful music soothing my tired head
I wonder if the struggle to reach others is worth the pain
Of putting your ego on the line
Risking hate and judgment from dissenting opinions
I fight with fervor to make an impact
Sundays are my days of service
I just want to help
This world sees too much suffering
My role is to help others find their own healing
Naked and afraid, I force myself to stand
On a metaphorical pedestal, offering others a helping hand
At times I am successful
Pulling others out of the abyss
But days like today, palms clammy with sweat
My hand lost its grip
I can’t please everyone
And so I go to bed tonight feeling sad
The negative feedback chips away at my spirit
I often take criticism personally
Though it is not the person they criticize, but the delivery
Audio was poor
Listening to others share was a bore
Why must people leave such harsh reviews
When sick as I am, I continue to serve
I coughed my way through breathing and meditation
Canceled writing group for a family friend reunion
The mental health group excited and scared me
I heaved a deep breath as I began the Zoom meeting
24 people signed up
Only 7 of them showed
By minute 30, only 2 remained
It hurts my ego, exacerbates my pain
When my efforts go unappreciated
Keyboard warriors have such bad things to say
But I must trek onward
If I reach one person
Just one
Then my work is done
Keep doing good work and you will be set free
Free from depression, anxiety, misery
You go to bed at night feeling proud of yourself
Belicia, once a shy and hardened girl
Stripped of a voice
Never given a choice
On how to think, feel, or be
Now I stand tall, microphone in my hand
Preaching the word of wellness to all
I can talk a good talk
But can I walk the walk
If you want to change the world
You must first change yourself
I stare long and hard at my reflection tonight
Proud of the woman I am becoming
Blown away by the shyness I am shedding
2026 is my year of exorcising
All those demons that keep me suffocating
So long as we have breath
We can stand at the zenith of Everest
And wail at the top of our lungs
Inspiring words
Backed by noble deeds
Fuck the fucking fuckers
My first dance teacher once told me
Tomorrow is another day
Today will melt into memory
I will wake up early and cherish life’s beauty
Heart filled with gratitude for the gifts God bestowed upon me
I make it my mission to continue to serve
Until breath leaves my lungs
I will fight to do good
I’m sorry that people were so rude, especially when you were just trying to do a nice thing. I think you should charge $5 per person– enough of a fee to “inconvenience” someone (i.e., to prevent them from just abandoning the group or disrespecting you), but not so much that it breaks the bank. I notice this with some of the clients whose services are state funded; they may cancel at the last minute or no-show without even calling us because they are not penalized for it.
Thank you for your validating words, Macey. You definitely made me feel better. I have thought about charging a small fee for the groups, and it could potentially rectify the issue of people not showing up or leaving in the middle of the group (that does strike me as a bit rude, not just to me but to other members). However, I believe wellness and healing is a human right, and I want everyone to have access to the services I offer. That being said, $5 is a modest amount, given all the effort I put in to running these groups. Today was rough, but all I can do is my best, and if I can help just one person, that would be enough. Thank you for your continued support.