Dearest readers,
It’s 9:16pm as I begin today’s obligatory blog post. I actually wrote another birthday post this morning that I decided to take down, since I said some things in there that I wasn’t proud of. So here’s another go at it. I’ll try to be more optimistic in this one.
Well, we made it to 28. I am a year older, a little bit wiser, and have grown through the past year of tribulations that have strengthened my character and deepened my capacity for empathy. This year was hard, but also joyous. I’ll focus on the positives:
- crushing it in my career as a fitness and dance instructor
- growing my businesses and stepping into the role of high-powered entrepreneur
- finding a boyfriend whom I cherish
- deepening existing friendships, and finally making some amazing female friends
And there were a million moments of happiness that were only made brighter by periods of darkness. Yes, I am still struggling with substance use. But that is my goal, above all else, for 28: kick the addictions. They sap my life of joy. They jeopardize my relationships. They poison my body, dull my mind. They negatively impact my performance at work. I’ve had a 10-year career of drinking, it’s time to turn a new leaf and get sober for good.
I had a lovely day with my favorite person, my boyfriend! The day started off rough, but it certainly turned itself around. He treated me to a delicious Thai food dinner, then we drove to Palo Alto to Water Course Spa, where we chilled in a private spa with a steam room, hot tub, and cold plunge, for 90 minutes. We laughed, loved, bonded, and being with him made my day extra special.
I called my brother, Austin, and I was glad to hear he was doing well. I received many birthday wishes from family, friends, and students, which made me feel so loved. Thank you to everyone who reached out to me, I’m slowly making my way through all of your messages!
My life at present is a rich tapestry of joy. I’ve built a career I am proud of, am finally making enough money to move out of my parents’ home, both Austins (my boyfriend and brother) expressed how proud they were of me for carving my own path and making it work, I’ve reached mastery in teaching and continue to deepen my expertise in the fitness and dance worlds, I found a boyfriend who is incredible. I have so much to be grateful for, so why do I need to rely on substances when things get tough?
Substance use is my biggest challenge right now. But my boyfriend reminded me of how strong a person I am. He’s there for me. So many others are there for me. I feel loved and cherished, and I’m celebrating the end of my birthday over chocolate cake and lemon-lime gatorade. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Let’s make it a masterpiece!
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