Princess Cruise October 2025: Day 6 and 7

Dearest readers,

It’s our last day on board the Ruby Princess, and I’m soaking in as much ocean as I can before we head back to land tomorrow. Indeed, there really is nothing like being on a cruise ship. One of the crew members took me to the future cruise ship consultation office last night and what a view… you look up from your desk after an hour of being knee-deep in paperwork, and you look out the circular window and there it is— the ocean blue soothing your tired eyes. I wish I had a view like that from my desk. 

After talking to many crew members about their life on a ship, I realize that while I love cruising, I’d rather cruise as a passenger than work long hours for little pay as a crew member. I feel like working on a ship, whether as a performer or fitness instructor, will ruin cruises for me. Cruises are special because:

• I rarely go on them, these days. The novelty factor and escape from routine is what makes it exciting.
• I am graced with special treatment by crew members and amenities and infinite relaxation. A very different experience than working on a ship. Just wanted to say, all the crew members are freakishly nice to passengers. Like, it’s almost like a concrete rule for them to smile and greet passengers with a warm “hello!” every time you pass them. It’s disarming and refreshing, something you never get in the Bay Area. 

I met a crew member last night at the club and shared some great dances with him. He told me about the dark side of cruises— death. Actually, it’s a thing for people on their death bed to book a World cruise, which is a cruise that sails to all parts of the world for several months on end, and they go there with the intention of dying on the ship. Dark, but it kinda makes sense. What better a way to die than on board a ship, enjoying every last ounce of life you have left? Good food, endless drink supply, royal treatment, entertainment and amenities galore, the breathtaking view of the ocean, sandwiched between the sky and sea, last chance to see the world before you depart. On an even darker note, some people go on cruises with the intention to jump overboard. Yikes. They may do it late at night, when nobody is watching, and jump from deck 18. The crew member I was talking to said that was a cruel way to die. You jump from that high and it’s like falling on concrete, and then you have the ice cold water sucking you down, down, down, and you’re in a lot of pain for a short amount of time, and then it’s over. The thought did cross my mind that we passengers are but a climb and a jump away from death. I’d rather not think about that, right now. I’m high on life with a bright future ahead— I am not dying anytime soon, not on my watch. 

I apologize for not writing my daily blog post yesterday. It was a sea day, and I spent the day mostly relaxing, eating at the buffet, hitting a workout, getting my hair done for the second formal night (I wore my beautiful white “Hillary Clinton” dress that was not 100% formal, but still looked great). We took many pictures before dinner, and I have officially reached my picture-taking quota for the trip. Maybe even for the next few weeks. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. But I was indeed mostly happy this cruise ship, save for the growing pains from healing from my latest heartbreak. I’m glad to say that I am almost 100% over that guy, and I look forward to reconnecting with him after vacation, as his platonic friend. 

Therapy yesterday was enlightening, yet again. Zoe prescribed me a protocol moving forward: don’t have sex with any man who can’t promise commitment. You’ll be protecting your heart from unwanted attachment and men who are undeserving of my time and emotional energy. You’ll still get a lot of male attention, but many of them will skedaddle off the minute you tell them, in no uncertain terms, that you’re looking for commitment. I have to be as ruthless with that as I am about sobriety. Sex is an addiction, and it’s something I need to overcome. I’ll be using the word NO much more often in my vocabulary surrounding dating and men, and I’m excited to debut this new version of me, once I get off the ship. ’Twas a healing vacation, indeed. 

(Sigh) what to write about, what to write about? I guess I’ll just say, this cruise has been the best, most-needed escape from my frenetic reality. The first few days were almost hypomanic in energy and activity level— I explored the ship with fervor, took advantage of all the amenities (thank you, spa, truly), I established my reputation as the eye-catching dancer on board, met a lot of new people, danced until 1am at the Skywalker club, took plenty of pictures, and enjoyed touring Victoria and Vancouver. Then things chilled out a bit, I had more down-time to write and relax, and in those moments of quiet were when the difficult emotions surfaced, and I did the deep inner work to heal from heartbreak. Lots of sadness, pain, and anger filling my heart. Now at the end of my trip, I can effectively say I emerged a changed human. 

• I am officially over the guy from home with whom I shared a 1 month whirlwind, intense romance. My care and affection for him remain, though more muted, and completely platonic. I’m excited reconnect with him, though I am also a bit apprehensive. What if he worms his way back into my heart and undos the progress I made this past week? I must be strong. 
• I am more relaxed and centered. I realize how important it is for me to make time for self-care and relaxation in my daily life, even if I am starting 3 companies— a path I am now revising to be more realistic. I also need to slow down on my day job to make room for entrepreneurship. Not quit everything altogether, but at the very least I won’t take on new clients. Seriously, Bel, don’t do that. 
• I have a hunger to make enough money to afford financial freedom, which will allow me to buy all the cruise ship vacations I want! And, I can finally give back to my parents by sending them on hella cruise ship vacations as they enter their 70s. Oh, they’d love that. 
• I will cherish this hope and optimism that is the ultimate gift of youth— the world is your oyster and there are endless possibilities. I won’t be able to say or feel that when I am older, though I do believe you can be a lifelong dreamer, no matter your age. It’s just easier to dream big when you’re young. I refuse to let my gifts go to waste, I will reach my potential and then some. 
• I love strength training, I’ve missed it. I used to lift weights almost every day, then I got busy with work and teaching and that sapped all my energy so I no longer had bandwidth to do my own workouts… I will integrate strength training into my daily routine, whether that’s an early morning session at the gym before work, or squeezing a 20 minute quickie between clients. 
• I’ve slowed down on caffeine a ton, which was healthy. I will no longer be doing the 4-5 energy drinks a day, I can use breathing and meditation as natural, healthy sources of energy to keep me fueled. 

And with that, I think it’s time to hit a steam and sauna session! I’ll talk to you guys later! 

4:09pm

A steam sesh and hot dog/loaded fries later, I am back on Deck 15! It’s interesting not having any scheduled activities to do for the next few hours… I could take this opportunity to get back into work-mode, but I’d rather not squander the last half day on this ship with work, which eagerly awaits me when we return home tomorrow. No, I will sit back and relax and enjoy the last moments of freedom. In the past, I would get post-vacation blues. Getting back into the hustle-bustle swing of things after a week or two of bliss is difficult for someone like me, who needs a regular routine to stay stable. Bipolar doesn’t like change in routine or big transitions and surprises; predictability is the name of the game with stability. But I’m getting better at being non-attached to positive experiences— they happened, it was beautiful, and now onto the next wonder. I hope I can integrate more wonder into my daily life, just like I have experienced this past week. Find ways to stay stimulated and curious and engaged. Spend more time in nature. Go to the beach, because I like the ocean. Meet new people and have enlightening conversations. Change my consciousness in positive ways through yoga and meditation and working out. Keep moving forward, but savor each moment on the journey. All these platitudes sound nice, but it’s all about living life with intention, mindfulness, and gratitude for each divine moment you spend alive. Surviving is not thriving— what do you guys think is a life well-lived? Leave your thoughts in the comments! 

Now that I’ve exhausted my writing capacity for the moment, I will turn to reading. “Autobiography of a Yogi”, I think you will change my life. Here we go!