Dearest gentle readers (another nod to Bridgerton),
Merry Xmas Eve! Can you believe we made it another trip around the sun?!
Here I am sitting alone in this big, eerie house in Atherton. Good news– Mojo the Cat overcame his social anxiety this morning and ventured out of his nook under the couch. I left a bowl of cat food at the entrance of the couch, and that did the trick! He cautiously roamed around me with spine hollowed in trepidation, but he mustered up the courage to rub his face against my leg, which is a good sign. I’m glad he’s finally warming up to me after a couple days in hiding. I woke up this morning with an itch in my throat and a runny nose, which sucks. But I felt strong enough to hit a workout at Bay Club before they closed at 2pm. T’was a great workout. I practiced some new exercises my personal trainer friend showed me, learned a couple new pilates ring exercises that I will debut in my class on Friday, hit 5 sets on the squat rack, and it was wonderful. I’m now back in Atherton just chillin’, wrapping up the final touches of my Christmas presents– personalized poems for the people I love– and I got the rest of the day to kill until 6pm, when I’m meeting with my dear friend Sylvia for dinner at a Chinese restaurant, which is kind of our annual tradition. I haven’t spoken to her since August, and I thought she had moved on from our friendship in light of the falling out I had with our mutual friend earlier this year. Gosh, friendship drama, I abhor it. I’m glad that I am radically shedding toxic people from my life, and 2026 is the year I am no longer afraid to be a BITCH when called for. I’m not scared to call people out on their BS, block numbers when warranted, and while I try not to ghost people on principle, sometimes that may be the only way they will take the hint and leave you alone.
Well, gotta get back to writing these poems. I’ll check back in with you all later today!
…
Sandwiching poems between Emily in Paris. I’ve been writing poems on-and-off for the past hour. I hope the people I gift them to will appreciate them. I’m speaking to my first mental health peer support client in 30 minutes… I’m basically gonna be a therapist without a doctorate degree. Just leveraging my lived experience, emotional intelligence, and empathy. To heal a tormented soul, whose holiday season is consumed by romance woes. I love helping others with their relationship plights, and now I am getting paid for it, though the reward comes in helping someone through strife. And then it’s dinner with Sylvia, a dear old friend. We will eat Chinese food and catch up on lost time over green onion pancakes and sweet and sour soup. She’s a real one, a friend you trust will always be by your side, no matter how much time elapses. Holidays are a time to celebrate cherished humans and tethering connections. I am sipping on a glass of wine, slipping on my sobriety, but still having a good time. I look forward to tomorrow: dinner with grandma, a party to attend at night. Food prepared by a Michelin-star chef, an old family friend named Mark, a bright and bubbly presence. I can’t stop rhyming, words are addicting, I am sitting in this lounge chair, feeling lazy as a cat. Time to indulge myself in Emily in Paris while forgetting my present romance woes. A guy who started strong, but now overthinking and anxiety has taken the fore. My anxious attachment is infuriating, why must I overthink the small insignificant things. I get anxious then run, refusing to contend with difficult feelings. So I break up impulsively, leaving the guy wondering. What did he do wrong? I’m not sure if he did. I have a hair-trigger bullshit detector, I cut out people with self-assured certainty. Is this a healthy way to lead life? Or should I give people a larger leeway? I safeguard my peace with ferocity, I cut ties with anyone who places my sanity in jeopardy. My head screams, “It was a good run.” I run before I fly too close to the Sun. He is handsome and fun, but I am so done. I must find solace in solitude, alone but never lonely. In my heart of hearts I express joy, that stretches to eternity.
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