Present Moment
The past colors our present
The present is where we plant our feet
But when past was your zenith
How can you stay tethered to present’s sobering reality
In nights of sweet reverie
When demons retreat to sleep
I dream back to the glory days
Of untapped youthful potential
Heart brimming with unbridled passion
Mind feverish with unchecked ambition
Ears saturated with praise others sung to me
Future Olympian
World Champion hopeful
College professor
“Can you be my daughter?”
Ivy League caliber
Genius
Savvy precocious girl
She works so damn hard, she will change the world
The labels were kind, delicious to hear
Fuel to the flame that burned bright in my soul
But when the flames grew too hot
The scaffolding of my brittle brain began to disintegrate
And then the labels turned cruel
Bipolar
Crazy
Weird
Unstable
Hare-brained
Undisciplined
Dangerous
Unlovable
These days my goals are humbler
Stay sober, clear, stable
Control the chaos of your mind
And do your very best to be kind
Did I peak at 17?
Did my early success mask a growing mental instability
When my mind was once a trusted friend
A loyal ally that at 20, turned against me
The chasmic gap between then and now
A hurdle I cannot seem to straddle
Life did not unfold the way I had envisioned
The way others envisioned for me
In truth we are not the mind
We must not identify with labels
Labels presumptuously imposed on us
Labels we pompously attach to ourselves
We are the Seers
To the colorful scenery of our mind
Witness to our consciousness
Not our body, thoughts, or emotions
Not what we do, what we have achieved, what we will become
See yourself for who you are, your essence, light, divinity
And you will transcend beyond words, labels, paper-thin identities
They call me Belicia
It’s like Felicia with a B
One human amongst 7 billion
Just a woman of 27
Trying to get by
Leading a life of existential freedom
Free from delusions, addictions, attachment
Painting my existence into a work of art
Creative flow, my happy place and truest love
How much love did you give to those around you
How much wisdom did you gain in your brief time on Earth
We are small, insignificant creatures
A droplet in the vast ocean blue
Shatter your ego and accept the present as inevitable
Do what brings you joy, smile at the people who make life beautiful
Lead with gratitude for sunny days and starry nights
Blink your eyes wide open and bask in your bright inner light
A soul that cannot be dimmed by labels
Ambition that extends beyond yourself
Ask yourself, “What is a life well-lived?”
Find the answer
And live each moment of every day in its honor
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