Dearest readers,
It is 2 hours to the witching hour. Why is it that I have so much energy when most people seek to rest? But I am not like most people. I am not neurotypical. I am part of the lucky 3% who have this 7-letter mood disorder that fucks with a normal circadian rhythm. In nicer words, I have a spicy brain. And this spicy brain is itching to create.
I was reflecting earlier today… my most deeply creative periods in my life, when I truly was able to create work I was proud of, like poetry, yoga2music flows, dance choreography, memoir writing, happened when I was less busy. I had free, unstructured time to think, hear, feel, express. Creativity demands time– uninterrupted time– and patience. It exists on the plane of intuition, and you cannot tap into this higher-order level of thinking when you’re just trying to survive a monstrosity of a schedule. I may be making more money, but my soul is starved.
This is why I want to hustle right now and become financially free. Not to own a big house, or multiple properties, or don nice clothes and designer bags. I have never been particularly motivated my material objects. I could live in a simple cottage in the forest, which my basic needs taken care of, so long as I have the freedom to be an artist.
A perfect day in my book:
5AM– wake up, morning routine (brush teeth, cold shower, skincare)
5:15AM– yoga practice
6:30AM– jog in nature, sit on a bench overlooking the water and watch the sunrise
7AM- hot green tea with lemon, creatine/protein shake mix, Greek yogurt, eaten in silence with no distractions
7:30AM– deep work session #1: writing (poetry, memoir, self-help book, children’s book, blog, etc.)
10:30AM– break: 30 minutes high intensity calisthenics
11AM– deep work session #2: more writing
1PM– lunch (protein and leafy-greens rich, eaten in silence)
1:30PM– reading (one book at a time works best for me, so I can focus and internalize information better)
2:30PM– dance practice (Latin ballroom, heels, bachata, flamenco, Argentine tango, whichever style I’m focusing on that year)
4:30PM– shower, decompress over Netflix (nothing wrong with vegging out to recharge the battery)
5PM– deep work session #3: movement choreography (yoga2music flow, dance choreography, fitness routines)
6PM– strength training workout
7PM– dinner (something simple, like chicken and rice, fruit for dessert)
7:30PM– self-care session: steam room / hot tub / cold plunge; massage 1x/week
8PM– night routine, breathing/meditation, asleep by 9PM
This, guys, is my perfect day. Notice I didn’t schedule in time for friends or dating or a social life… I need to get better at that, and one of my goals for 2026 is to make more friends, date intentionally, and deepen my existing relationships. Get over the beef and resentment I hold towards my family. I suppose my childhood and adolescence as a competitive gymnast and dancer set me up to be a bit of a loner. The strict routine of training and school, school and training, left me no time to hang out with friends or be a normal girl. No birthday parties, football games, high school parties. I found a bit more balance in college, but once I graduated from that social bubble, it was back to my old workaholic, self-isolating tendencies. Just me, my art, my goals and ambitions, and that’s it. I don’t need much to be happy… maybe that’s why I’ve been single for the past 6 years.
Anyway, this hypothetical “perfect day” exists in my mind as a pleasant fiction. Presently, my life is chaotic, I am pulled in a million different directions with my myriad goals spanning business, fitness teaching, podcasting, content creation, book writing, etc. I just have too many interests. I need to focus. I need to just pick one thing, and focus on it. One empire at a time. I need to meditate and figure out what that one thing is.
I will manifest this perfect day into a reality. This sounds like the kind of thing a scholar or academic would do when they take a sabbatical. Their only job is to think! They are getting paid to THINK! How marvelous! Well, once I am a millionaire, I can take as many sabbaticals as I’d like. I’m not gonna be those money-hungry, greedy millionaires who can’t stop thinking about money. It’s never enough, for these people. They are rich, but not wealthy. Once I make enough money to retire and rest on my laurels, I will sit back and relax and enjoy the simple pleasures of life as an artist.
The noblest thing you can do as an artist is reach your creative potential and use your God-given talents to spread joy and beauty in the world. Milk the shit out of your talents, train hard, stay focused and disciplined, and stretch to your potential until you break. Don’t actually break, though. I don’t want to be a “tortured” artist… pain does fuel creativity, but so does love and happiness. At this moment, 10:43pm on this Monday night, I am very, very happy. I got a new bluetooth speaker, and from it blasts the song “Je Suis Malade” by Belgian-Canadian singer Lara Fabian. The name of the song translates to, “I am ill.” Yes, I am recovering from a nasty cold, but that’s not why I’m playing this song. I want to choreograph a dance to it… it’s heart-wrenching, heart-breaking, ethereal, powerful, music at its finest. I have goosebumps just listening and letting myself melt into the melody. And that’s my creative process– find a song I’m obsessed with that evokes certain emotions within me, play it over and over and over again until the choreography forms in my head, then it’s off to the studio to download it into my muscles and joints. Feet, knees, legs, hips, arms, back… every body part expertly trained to move in coordination. Moving like a cat. Feline, powerful, seductive. This is what we Latin ballroom dancers strive to do– move like a minx, leopard, cheetah. God, I love Latin dance so much. I am so broke right now, I can’t even afford dance lessons. How sad is that?! Another reason why my businesses MUST succeed, so I can get back into my dance training, in earnest. The greatest seasons of my life were spent in deep, total immersion in a craft, training that bordered on obsession, I WAS a train moving in one direction. I miss the simplicity of that kind of life. No, I can recreate that. I can start tomorrow. Make a priority list of top 5 things I need to focus on, and eliminate all the distractions.
And I’ll leave you with my thoughts. It’s nearing my bedtime, but this song has me all hot and bothered and I want nothing more than to jump out of bed and MOVE. Well, I have a long work day tomorrow, so I must will myself to sleep. That’s my cue to take my meds and meditate. But, just one more run of the song. I’ll close my eyes and create in my head. And then I will sleep.
Good night, everyone. What I wish for you all is to find an insatiable itch to scratch. Something you are so passionate about, it lights a flame in you that propels you forward and gives each moment of every day a PURPOSE. We all have the capacity to experience passion, I believe. We all can dream big. We all have heads and hearts, and we were all blessed with gifts. Learn yourself, and identify those gifts, if you haven’t already. Doesn’t have to be art, it can be anything. And work till the day you die to use your gifts to better the world. Do so in the name of service, and also for personal fulfillment.
If romantic love doesn’t find me this year or next, I think I’ll be okay. I have my words, my dancing, my music, my businesses, and for now, that may be enough.
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