Mental Health Peer Support Group Reflections

Dearest readers,

Happy Monday! I hope you all are kick-starting your week on a positive note.

I am still riding high from yesterday, the sabbath day when I devote myself exclusively to service. The expressive writing group was a success– I got two new people in the group, and in addition to writing, we shared some self-care strategies to stay focused, eliminate distractions, and manage our energy. The writing group felt a little bit like group therapy, which was a beautiful thing to witness, and it prepared me for what came after: the mental health peer support group.

Man, that was an interesting experience. I was incredibly nervous ahead of the group– didn’t lose sleep over it, but it was on my mind the entire week before. The night before the group, I practiced a little performance anxiety hack: mental blocking. I don’t know if that’s the technical term, but it’s basically eliminating the source of your anxiety from your consciousness and distracting yourself (hopefully in a healthy way). I had dinner with my best friend, Allan, got boba with another friend, and attended a Singles Mingle event that bore no fruit, but it was still cool to meet new people. I didn’t get good sleep the night before Sunday, as I stayed up well past my bedtime due to the night’s many activities.

Morning of the group, I practiced 40 minutes of breathing and meditation, and that calmed me down significantly. Allan was a huge support throughout the day. He came to my house at 1pm and attended both the writing group and peer support group, and even though he doesn’t have a mental health diagnosis, he still shared in the group (because I asked him to).

So, the group. It was interesting. It was my first time leading anything of the sort, though I have inhabited many other teaching and performing roles all throughout my work career. My therapist hyped me up the week before, reminding me that I was a great teacher, I have plenty of experience leading a group and reading the room and interacting with people, and that the group would go spectacularly.

Spectacular? I wouldn’t use such a strong work to describe yesterday’s experience. There were 11 people signed up to attend through Meetup, and only 7 of them showed up. I started the meeting by having them review the group guidelines and sign the waiver form to ensure that I am not liable for anything bad that goes down. After that, I reviewed the 10 group guidelines in detail (credits to my therapist, who gave me suggestions):

1. Confidentiality and Privacy
2. Zoom from private place to protect privacy and confidentiality
3. Be accepting of others identities and backgrounds
4. No phone or other screens (no screenshots)
5. Respectfulness
6. Willingness to listen, share, be supportive, and take turns
7. Validate each other
8. No intimacy interfering behaviors (could be eye rolling, interrupting, judgment, etc.)
9. Be mindful of share time.
10. Ask before giving advice (sometimes it is not wanted)

After that, I introduced myself and shared my mental health journey with the group. I made sure to emphasize that I wasn’t a licensed therapist or clinician, and that I was a certified peer support specialist, a person with lived experience with a mental health condition, and am committed to supporting others going through similar challenges.

We then transitioned to the check-in portion of the meeting, which is how every group therapy I have attended begins. We go around the room and answer the following 5 questions:

1. On a scale of 1-5, what is your mood right now?
2. What is your primary feeling or emotion right now?
3. What’s one thing in your life that is currently challenging you, and one thing that is helping you cope?
4. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being high), how much energy do you have for the day ahead?
5. Is there anything you need to share, or any kind of support you need from the group today?

This, I believe, is where I started to lose people. Little by little, people started hopping off the zoom call. This was very disappointing for me to see. But I get it. It’s intimidating to share the most intimate details of your mental-emotional state with a group of strangers. Also, most individuals had their Zoom cameras turned off, save for Allan and this one other brave and enthusiastic participant. Unable to see their faces, it was difficult for me to connect with them.

We finished check-in at 3:30pm, and for the remaining 30 minutes, I had to improvise and pick a random mental health topic for discussion. The topic I chose was stigma, and how to cope with it. A few members chimed in and shared their thoughts, and it was helpful and enlightening to hear their perspectives. Those who participated in the discussion not only offered their thoughts, but asked questions to other members facing similar challenges. It was a beautiful thing to witness community support, and even more gratifying to know that I was the one who created the space for open, vulnerable, honest conversation surrounding mental health– often a taboo and deeply misunderstood topic in everyday life.

Reflecting upon my first peer support group, I believed it was everything I expected would happen. Yes, it was disappointing to see people hop off the call, and I hoped that at best, most people would be willing to participate. But I get how scary it is to speak up in a room full of strangers, especially about sensitive matters. I don’t fault people for having social anxiety– I struggle with it all throughout high school.

The group wasn’t perfect, but I tried to focus on the positives. I was able to help at least one person, and that’s enough. Perhaps I even helped the individuals who chose not to share, but stayed on the call and listened. And I do not take all the credit– it was the people brave enough to participate who carried the group. I was just the facilitator and host, and I am doing this out of an unconditional desire to serve. I am not making a single penny from what I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To capitalize on others’ need for basic human connection and support is just morally wrong, in my opinion. If I were a licensed clinician and went through professional training to treat mental illness, that is a different story. But I am no different than the next person in this support group. Yes, I’ve learned to successfully manage bipolar. I put in the work and emerged alive and well, and that remains my biggest accomplishment to date. The next step, then, is to help others still going through the struggle, and offer tips and resources that worked for me.

No one can battle mental illness alone. No one can battle life’s many hardships alone. We are social creatures, and I believe we must lean on human connection to truly thrive in life.

I look forward to future support group sessions, and I know I will refine the group and make it better as I go. Leading this group was well out of my comfort zone, and I was scared and nervous and anxious, but I pushed through.

The group meets every Sunday from 3-4pm. If you live with mental health challenges, whether you self-identify as neurodivergent or have a formal diagnosis, you are welcome here. 

“Let your passion outshine your fear,” is my life motto. For as much fear I feel, I am ten times more passionate about the work I do to help others. Life begins on the edge of your comfort zone, and once you decide to take that leap of faith, you will gain the most invaluable gift of all: CONFIDENCE. I did a hard thing. I am proud of myself. Get addicted to that feeling of fulfillment that comes from doing the hard thing. Only then can you know what it is to reach your potential.