Dearest readers,
Welcome to Day 2 of January. I have gotten into the habit of writing a blog a day all of last month, and though Blogmas is officially over, it felt weird to not check in with you guys on this Friday afternoon. It’s 4:30pm right now. And, it’s my best friend’s birthday! In about 30 minutes he will pick me up from my house and we’ll watch the movie, The Housemaid, at 5:15pm, and then get dinner.
Pivotal news– I got back into SKY breathing last night, which is a 20 minute set of rhythmic breathing exercises that completely transformed my life. I learned how to do this breathing technique in 2024, and after integrating the practice into my morning routine for 40 days, I noticed profound shifts in my inner landscape. The dark clouds scattered, fog lifted, and before me lay a clear blue sky imbued with rainbow hues. SKY unlocked a level of inner peace, equanimity, contentment, and self-love I did not know possible. It’s a shame I didn’t stick with the practice, because if I did, I think 2025 would have been a lot kinder to me. Well, in 13 days I will be going on another Art of Living silent meditation retreat, so I figured I should brush off the dust and get back into SKY.
I started the practice at 10pm, and I noticed that my lungs were out of shape, as I struggled to maximize my oxygen intake during 3-stage pranayama. Bhastrika, nicknamed “yogic coffee” because it wakes up the system, left me feeling energized and alert. Then we had circular breathing, where you manipulate the tempo of your breath as you inhale and exhale through the nose. Slow circles, followed by medium, and then fast (this is basically hyperventilation). You repeat circular breathing for three rounds. It was tricky, since I have a bit of a cold and my nostrils are congested. After SKY breathing, I did 10 minutes of a guided meditation from my favorite app, Sattva. This meditation app skews towards spiritual, and they even have a section for “sacred sounds” where you chant along to Sanksrit mantras and relax into the sound bath. Highly recommend Sattva to anyone who is curious about the spiritual side of yoga/meditation.
I took my usual dose of sleeping medication, and that coupled with SKY knocked me out for a blissful 12 hours. I slept like a baby, and maybe it’s also because I didn’t sleep much New Year’s Eve night, my mind and body needed the rest. I set my alarm for 8am but snoozed it shut, and woke up in a panic at 10:16am. I needed to teach a 10:30am class! I skipped my morning routine, threw on my teaching attire, and zipped out the door like a madwoman. Thankfully, I live only 5 minutes away from Bay Club Redwood Shores, and I got there with 5 minutes to spare. While putting on my sneakers, I reopened the cut on my right pointer finger, and I ran inside the gym with blood dripping precariously down my hand. Ouch. Quickly wrapped it in a bandaid and made it to class at 10:30am sharp. I warned my students that I was a little sick, and because of that, I danced at 70% capacity instead of my usual 200%. My students were sympathetic, though, and their whoops and cheers throughout class were what kept me going.
After dance, it was straight to mat pilates. Again, I told my students I was a bit sick and apologized in advanced for the coughs and sniffles as I cued them through 50 minutes of an intense core workout. A funny moment: I had them do several reps of dead bugs, and when they finished, I said to them, “That was fun, wasn’t it?” And the whole class started laughing. “Define fun, Belicia,” one older lady remarked. With Herculean effort, I made it to the end of the class, and that’s all the work I have to do for the day.
I ran some errands and did some shopping at the Hillsdale mall, ate lunch at the poké place in the food court, also ordered a $2 spam musubi, then drove back to Bay Club for my self-care sesh of the day: steam room and hot tub. I aim for at least 1 hour of self-care a day, whether that is hydrotherapy, yoga/breathing/meditation, or journaling. Hydrotherapy remains on the top of my toolbox of emotional regulation skills, and I try to do steams/hot tubs at least once a day– twice, if I’m feeling particularly perturbed. At 3pm, I FaceTimed with a new wedding couple who shared their wedding dance vision with me. Their wedding is in June, so we have plenty of time to work on their dance to Michael Buble’s “Moondance”. They want their dance to be old Hollywood style, filled with showstopper lifts, dips, and tricks, and because the bride was a former cheerleader, she is flexible and unafraid of being thrown in the air. As long as she’s wearing a dress and heels that won’t get in the way, I don’t see why we can’t create a dazzling first dance. After that phone call, I hopped on another phone call with a friend, and he gave me some sage life advice. People are walking books. Ask the right person the right questions, and you can discover a treasure of wisdom.
I hate being sick… this constant itch in my throat that leads to a phlegmy cough… it’s really annoying, In fact, I had to cancel my 6:30pm dance class I was scheduled to sub, since I refused to put myself through the singular torture of teaching a high energy dance class while sick. Did that already this morning, I’ve paid my dues. Thankfully it’s just a cold, probably induced by a chilly New Year’s Eve night in the rain. I’ll be better in no time.
8:24pm
Back in bed, back to my safe haven! It was wonderful to be with my best friend on his 33rd birthday. I treated him to a night out: mango matcha smoothie with lychee jelly, tickets to the movie, The Housemaid, movie snacks (small popcorn no butter, Crunch chocolate bits, sparkling water), four slices of pizza from Pizza My Heart, and a large diet coke. While he and I don’t hang out as much as we used to, it was still wonderful to spend time with him on his special day. By dinner, I was feeling fatigued. My body is not 100% healthy right now, so I definitely can’t go out salsa dancing tonight, as much as I wanted to.
Space 550 on Fridays is a great dance venue to frequent, I go almost every Friday. It’s the place where I first learned salsa and bachata dancing, met a ton of people, a couple of whom are great friends, co-created magic on the floor, and found my safe space to let loose every Friday night and just be a carefree, 27 year-old woman. Not someone who is deep in the trenches building what I hope to become business empires that outlive me. In fact, I didn’t do much work on my business(es) today. Analysis paralysis is something I contend with when I have too much to do. A million tasks to be done, only 24 hours in a day, half of which I spend sleeping and doing self-care. I sometimes crave the simplicity of a nine-to-five job. Every day looks the same, you know where to be, you have people telling you what to do, you make steady income, you’re part of a community, it’s a very predictable life. I long for that, sometimes, because it’s human nature to want what you don’t have. Especially now, in the early stages of building a business, when you are scrambling in the dark with a dim flashlight, searching for answers to a never-ending stream of questions, not knowing if any of your efforts will bear fruit. It can feel very isolating to be the sole bearer of responsibility to bring your vision to fruition. No one can do it but you. So you keep trying, and you break down large goals into smaller, more palatable ones, and 10 years from now, at the cusp of middle age, you’ll look back on your late twenties and think, “Man. I was so naive to think this would be easy. But what a gift it was to create something from scratch that is now helping others. How liberating it was to be a total beginner back then, free to make mistakes without the pressure of ruining your reputation… you didn’t have a reputation, yet. Not like now. Back then, you were in the throes of creation, working hard, but loving what you did, so it didn’t feel like work. You had nothing to lose, everything to prove. You were free to dream to the stars, beholden to nothing but your ambition. What a privilege it was to go after your dreams, because not everyone can do the same.”
That would be nice, to think back to my twenties and smile proudly. Even if none of my businesses succeed. At least I gave them an earnest shot. What if, in fact, this is the golden era of my life? Not once I’ve achieved external measures of success, like becoming a millionaire or living in a big house in Atherton, or finally making my parents proud. But this time right now, while I’m in the lab, working and building and creating something from nothing. I am happiest when I am in creative flow… there is no greater joy than bleeding out a poem in five minutes or giving physical form to a song you love. I am also happiest when I’m learning. Whether that’s reading a non-fiction book (next on the list: The 5AM Club), talking to a stranger and hearing their story, listening to a podcast (My First Million is my driving buddy), taking a dance class. If I can make my life one gigantic act of knowledge consumption and artistic production, I will be never be depressed again.
That’s it for tonight, I’m all written out. Plan for the rest of the night is to read, do yoga in my living room, practice SKY, meditate, and go to bed. Don’t have an early morning tomorrow since classes at the country club are cancelled all of this week, so I get to sleep in. Have a lovely evening, everyone, and I’ll talk to you guys soon!
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